Dealing with the heartbreak of divorce is hard -- but watching your child suffer along with you may be even harder.
In Oakland County, Michigan, and other areas, an ex-spouse may have been the victim of gaslighting. The term is an urban slang derived from a 1940's movie of the same name, which depicts a jealous and devious husband that manipulates his wife into thinking she is mentally unstable. For example, he goes to the attic to dim the gaslights and then claims she is seeing things.
On Nov. 27, news sources in Michigan reported that the Macomb County Sheriff's office in partnership with the Macomb County Friend of the Court would be conducting a week-long enforcement sweep targeting local residents with outstanding child support warrants. According to law enforcement officials, extra deputies were assigned exclusively to the project, which was scheduled to begin on Dec. 4. Sources indicated that authorities try to conduct the warrant sweep on an annual basis.
Michigan fathers may dread divorce first and foremost because of its potential to impact their relationships with their children. Going from being a full-time father to a part-time parent can be a serious emotional and logistical challenge. This is one factor that works to keep parents stuck in relationships and marriages long after they would have otherwise chosen divorce. There are options for fathers, however, to help to make the parenting road after divorce a smoother ride.
When Michigan parents get divorced, the children may split time between both of their homes. While this situation can work, particularly if both parents still live close to each other, younger children may have difficulty adjusting to two different households. One way divorced parents can make the transition easier for the children is to reach an agreement on house rules.
For Michigan parents who have gone through a divorce, working with a toxic ex can be difficult, especially if the ex treats or behaves poorly towards the other parent and even the child. However, getting tips can be difficult due to the fact that there are many reasons the ex may be difficult. It could be due to domestic abuse, inability to properly parent the child or addiction.
Working divorced moms in Michigan and across the country can benefit from shared parenting arrangements. Making shared parenting the norm after divorce or separation can help both mothers and fathers to maintain and build their careers and their deep relationships with their children.
Some Michigan fathers may be among the 57 percent who say they consider parenting as central to their identity according to a survey by Pew Research Center. This is about the same percentage as mothers who responded. Fathers are also more involved in child care compared to previous decades. Fathers in 2015 said they spent seven hours weekly on child care, and this was almost three times the number of hours reported in 1965. However, mothers still report considerably more at 15 hours per week. Nearly half of fathers say they do not spend enough time with their children.
Michigan parents who are negotiating custody agreements might be looking for more creative options outside of traditional shared parenting agreements. One arrangement that is becoming more popular with parents is the concept of nesting.
An estranged Michigan parent may become concerned that the other parent is abusing drugs or alcohol. If this is happening when a judge is making a decision about custody and visitation, the parent should take these concerns to the custody hearing along with any relevant documentation. This documentation should not just show evidence of the substance abuse but should also demonstrate that it puts the child in danger. The judge may also consider whether there is a history of substance abuse in making a decision about what custody and visitation arrangement will serve the best interests of the child.