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Just as it is not ideal to tell your boss that you want to quit your job before you have thought that decision through, it is not generally wise to announce to your spouse that you want a divorce before considering when and how this announcement should be made.

In general, it is wise to think through both the process of telling your spouse that you want a divorce and the divorce process itself before you have made a final decision. While divorce may be the healthiest option for you, a hasty announcement and/or a hasty filing can result in negative consequences. 

Telling your spouse

Unless you are in an abusive situation or are being affected by other compelling circumstances, you should probably tell your spouse of your intentions before you file for divorce. However, this does not mean that you have to tell your spouse of your intentions before you speak with an attorney. In fact, an attorney may be able to advise you on whether it makes sense to tell your spouse that you want a divorce before you actually file for it.

When telling your spouse that you want a divorce, please ensure that your children are not around. Also, you may want to think hard about whether it is a better idea to tell your spouse this news in public or private. If you are in an abusive situation, it may not be advisable to tell your spouse without witnesses present.

Filing for divorce

Another consideration is timing the actual filing process for your divorce. Your attorney will be able to advise you on this subject, but you must ultimately do whatever is right for you and your family. For example, you may want to think about how your projected divorce timeline will affect the school year, your job and holidays, especially if your divorce will affect any minor children. 

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